I have recently been convicted of being a helicopter mom to my teen, forever nagging and repeating my many requests for her to do stuff - whether it's to clean her room, do her chores etc etc and certainly not trusting her to do it in her own time.
A gem of a book I've discovered recently called "Have a new teenager by Friday" by Dr Kevin Leman, has suggested I ask only once, walk away and let the chips fall where they may. It has been extremely hard not to keep checking whether she's done it yet, but I'm delighted to say it worked - she did do everything in her own timing and when I thanked her for me not having to nag her, she ended up doing even more chores without me even asking her!
It was a wonderful reminder to me on the power of praise and saying thank you and making someone feel appreciated. We used it well when they were younger, but somewhere along the line we forget that teens also need praise just as much as toddlers.
My new challenge now is to stop focusing on the things she hasn't done, but to seek out the small, even insignificant things that she has, that I so often have taken for granted. And when I find them, I plan to shower her with as much praise and appreciation as possible.
Sometimes our lack of trust for them to do a job right, or to do it when we want it done, makes them miss out on an opportunity to grow into a helpful, responsible adult.
